Red Touch
by LastCetra
Summary: It is the dreaded day for Kyo. As he leaves Shigure's house for good his thoughts can't help but lie with one person and his life without her. No expressions of love, no miraculous savings, just humans.


**Red Touch**

_**By LastCetra**_

Kyo's eyes flickered open to reveal darkness. It was still far too early for anyone in the house to be awake. The red haired man did not rise; instead he folded his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling above him.

It was today. The reality of it descended on his stomach, making it contort and churn. He had hours, at best, to live before his life as he knew it would drastically change. Kyo didn't like change. Sure, he accepted it. He knew this day had been coming with a long time. He was ready, he knew what was in store for him, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

His right hand picked at the beads on his left. Those and the red hair were the symbol of his curse. It was these features, and both his other forms that made him an outsider. He was the one to be feared, the outlandish mutated monster that only brought misfortune and suffering. The prime example of that, he thought, was his own mother.

His father had blamed him for her death. Akito and everyone else who knew his secret did also. They had constantly reminded him that if he had never been born, she wouldn't have killed herself in the way she did. They reminded him that he was imperfect, flawed, one that couldn't be saved. His existence was a curse to them all.

Kyo shut his eyes, willing the bad memories to leave him to haunt him another day. Maybe his existence was a burden on everyone else. Maybe he couldn't be saved. But was it selfish not to think so? He felt he had gained more than any cat had ever gained on the outside. Besides eighteen years of freedom, he had earned the respect and love of his master, whom he felt was his true father. And there was one more thing he'd learned...

He stretched and rolled off his bed easily. There was no way he'd get more sleep, so there was no point in trying. He went through a few morning exercises like he did every morning. Somehow it didn't seem right if they weren't done. He soon finished and pulled back the curtains to reveal a dark cloudy sky. The first traces of light had brightened it, giving it an angry, murky grey colour. It was going to rain, weather that Kyo despised above all else.

His eyes turned to the clock next to his bed. It was five in the morning. He sighed, walking around his room, and after getting himself dressed he searched through different drawers and folders, looking silently at all his possessions, knowing they soon would no longer be his. He would own nothing, he would interact with no one but Akito. He would never see her again...

Suddenly, his possessions didn't matter a bit anymore.

Kyo treaded silently out of the room. He knew the layout of Shigure's house like the back of his hand. He knew which floorboards creaked, and which didn't, and because of this he had been able to escape to the roof without anybody knowing. This had been especially handy when he needed a break from studying, which Shigure had often been reluctant to give, or when Yuki had been on the prowl after he had hidden the leaks he had grown that had been prepared for dinner. His destination this time was not the roof however.

He made his way over to the door. It was open; she never closed it. She had always said that if it was closed it was like she didn't want to talk to anyone, and she wanted to talk to everyone. Kyo leaned against the doorframe and watched her sleep. He realised with a pang of sorrow that this would be the last time he would ever see her like this. Her breath could barely be heard, and he felt like he could be lost in the rhythmic rising and falling of her chest. She was so precious to him. His temper always melted away when he was with her, and he felt the constant need to protect her and make sure she was alright. He couldn't bear it if she was ever hurt. He guessed that after today, it would be Yuki's job to take care of her.

He didn't hate Yuki, he never did. Maybe once he thought he did, but not anymore. It was just jealousy, he knew that now. Yuki had everything he had ever wanted; the admiration and respect of everyone he knew, the ability to beat him in a fight with only minimal training, no matter how long or hard Kyo tried to improve himself, and freedom, the one thing Kyo wanted above all else.

It was all he had ever wanted, to be free, to feel like he belonged somewhere, anywhere. He had thought true belonging had been to defeat Yuki and become part of the Zodiac. Then, he would have been accepted by everyone and he would have been able to attend the New Years Banquet along with every other member of the Chinese Zodiac. Maybe his priorities had changed, or maybe he had grown up a little, but he didn't really want that type of forced acceptance anymore. The sleeping girl in front of him had truly accepted him. He remembered the very first time she had seen him transform into the cat. She had looked at him with shock, disbelief even, but not with repulsion or disgust. Once she had heard the reason for their change, she had just accepted it as if they had told her they liked reading or sports.

He had tried to hide his true form for the longest time. He knew he liked her and all, even considered her as a friend, but if he had the option to never tell her, he probably wouldn't have. His true form wasn't as cutesy as the cat. It was ugly, festering and rotten to the core, made up of all his jealousy and torment. That day when his master removed the beads that sealed his form away, he thought it was over. How could anyone possibly accept that that was a part of him?

He ran. The only thing he could think of doing. He never imagined that she would run after him though. Even when he had hit her, wounded her in confusion and rage, she desperately clung to him. Even though she was shaking from head to foot in fear, she still told him that she wanted to stay together.

It was at that point Kyo knew he had found that acceptance he had craved all his life for. He cried; the tears would not stop flowing. He hugged her and even though he transformed again he didn't care. He didn't want her to stop holding him. He didn't need anyone else, because he loved her.

She could never know. Even though he had a million things to say to her he would never say them. It would be too selfish to do so. Nothing could ever happen. He would have to leave her today so what use would it be to tell her something that would only hurt her more on his departure?

No one had told her about Akito and his deal. He was sure that Shigure knew, but he had never said anything. She also didn't know that all cats were condemned to this isolation. It was better for her not to know these things. He could imagine what she'd be like if she did. She would plead to Akito to release him or try and do it herself, both which he knew would end up getting her hurt, or having to have her memories erased. Of all things, he didn't want that. It was selfish, but if she didn't remember him, nobody would. That thought alone was enough to make him want to die. Taking one last look at her he turned on his heel and walked silently downstairs and out the door.

The seemingly asleep figure opened her eyes and just as silently followed him.

The first drops of rain fell heavily on Kyo's head, and he groaned. By the time he would get to the Sohma House he would have no energy left whatsoever. The drops turned to a torrent of rain, and soon he was completely soaked through. His mind was strangely empty. He didn't want to think ahead at what he was going to face, or behind at what he was going to lose. He just concentrated on putting one water-logged shoe in front of the other. His strategy was thrown however when he heard the last voice he wanted to hear in the world call his name. He turned; his mouth open slightly in shock. She was still in her pyjamas, her favourite yellow ones, and was staring at him with a questioning look on her face.

"Tohru," he breathed, trying the word in his mouth. He barely dared to say it, and when he did, it only came out as a whisper and was quickly drowned out by the pounding rain.

"Where are you going?" she asked. "And in the middle of the night too? You had me worried."

Kyo managed a smile. It was typically her, always caring for everyone but herself. She looked like she was shivering; she was bound to catch a cold. Kyo removed his jacket and placed it on her shoulders.

"It was silly of you to come out in your pyjamas," he stated. "Especially without a coat. You know how the house goes to shambles when you're sick."

"Stop changing the subject," she replied, concern filling her voice. "Where are you going?"

Kyo was silent. He saw his hand was trembling. Was he really that scared? He felt his stomach had been grabbed by two hands and knotted tight. He realised he was sick with fear. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to be alone again. The thought petrified him.

"There's..." he started, smiling again. He hoped against hope she wouldn't see through it. "There's something I need to do, Tohru, so I'll be gone for a little while."

"You're leaving?" she asked, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "You just wanted me to wake up and find you gone?"

"No," he murmured. "That's not it at all. I just didn't want to worry you, it's no big deal."

"Of course I'd be worried Kyo, we're family! If you were just missing all of a sudden I don't know what I'd do!" She turned her back on him and cried softly into her clenched fists.

"What's so important that you need to leave so suddenly anyway?" she asked.

Kyo looked down on the ground below him. The rain was falling with such force that it bounced off the hard pavement before falling again. He walked in front of her and gently took her hands away from her eyes. She looked up at him and sniffed slightly.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I was going," he said. "But believe me when I say it's important." He let go of her, but his arm was suddenly locked in Tohru's trembling grip. His whole body was shocked by the touch. Every time they had brushed each other's skin briefly when they passed each other in the stairs or halls at home, when he would hold her hand or when they would hug, his whole being would tingle with the electricity he felt in those brief moments.

"You're hiding something from me," she said, her tone completely serious. It wasn't her tone he noticed. He noticed her eyes, pleading and searching, trying to get through to him. He turned his face away, unable to keep her gaze.

"I'm not hiding anything," he replied with a short laugh.

"Stop lying Kyo! Please tell me what's wrong!"

"Why do you have to assume something's wrong all the time?" he yelled. "You can't save me so back off!"

Tohru let go of him immediately and recoiled as if she had been stung.

"Save you from what Kyo?" she whispered.

The flame haired man took an involuntary step backward, fear entering his eyes. She was going to find out. She couldn't, he wouldn't let her.

"I have to go," he said quickly, turning away once more.

"Wait Kyo!" she said, and grabbed his arm again. "Talk to m-"

"Leave me alone!" he yelled, and pushed her away from him. She tripped, falling on the ground with a thud.

There was silence. The only sound to be heard was the pounding rain beating down on the pavement and themselves. Tohru looked at him in utter shock, her eyes wide. He had never hit her purposely before. Kyo stared back at her for a few moments in hesitation before gathering himself. He turned and ran, faster than he'd ever run in his entire life. He had had to do it. She had to forget about him.

It was hard to tell if the drops on Kyo's face were rain or tears.

He entered the Sohma House slowly, taking one last glance at the world as he knew it. He walked through all the gardens until he came to a room, empty except for one person. He was standing in the middle of the room and had obviously been expecting him. He pulled up the shoulder of his loose kimono to its proper place and smiled as Kyo's dripping wet form walked through the door. It was a smile that held no happiness.

"I knew you would come of your own accord," he said in a low voice. "I take it by your presence that I won our little bet?"

"Akito," he said in reply, casting his eyes to the floor and affirming his question with the slightest of nods. The smile on his face deepened, turning into a sneer.

"Come here, my poor disgusting cat," he ordered.

Kyo walked towards him silently. Akito put his arms around him in an insincere, derisive embrace.

**The End.**

_**Author's Note:**_

**_Sometimes stories can't have a happy ending. Natsuki Takaya may have different plans but this is what I believe Kyo would have done. Thanks for reading everyone, reviews are always appreciated! And please, do not say anything about number 12 and 13 of the manga as I haven't read it yet. Also much thanks to Daenis Tooshy for the title, her helpful criticism and getting me into this beautiful masterpiece of a manga. Thanks again!_**

_**LastCetra**_


End file.
